How to Honour Life

It’s been a week since I found out that my 99 year old baba (grandmother) took her final breath peacefully in her sleep. She taught all of us how to be resilient, kind and have incredible work ethic. She believes that we need not compete with others, but she aimed to be better than herself Every. Single. Day.

Her final lesson for us all was to forgive. Forgive your family, colleagues, friends — everyone. Life is so much bigger in scheme of it all.

There have been ups and downs this week and here are some ways I honoured her life.

Healing circle — A friend who is a death doula, sent me a list of ceremonies to honour my baba’s life. I chose one where you light as many candles as you can. Each time you light the candle you share a memory, when you’re ready you blow them all out and watch the smoke rose. That’s the energy of your loved one.

Cry — Letting the tears roll down my face is so healing and I have no shame. I said to a friend that I cry alone, and in actuality I cry when I feel the sensation coming up. Let yourself cry without the need to “clean yourself up”.

Memories — I’ve said yes to having some of my babas belongings shipped to me. I love having pieces of my grandparents belongings in my home that I can pass onto my kids in the future. This can also be putting up pictures and having a sacred space that you can honour your loved ones.

Reach out — Ask for help. And share what’s really going on. In my case I’ve shared honestly that I’m riding the waves.

“From​ the woman who inspired us as the epitome of the immigrant generation but lived as a modern woman, we have all learned resilience and to maintain a “can do” attitude. We have all learned to do the things that keep us healthy, even when we may not feel like. Thanks to our Baba, we often maintain a sense of calm when facing overwhelming odds and she reminded us, regardless of the circumstances, always get up, stand up, and show up. She taught us to take pride in everything we do, especially the way you presented yourself.”

Hope this helps anyone who may be going through a loss in their own lives. I know this is scratching the surface however every little bit helps.

With warmth,

Cecily Elmas